Remembering the Future
by OrdinaryWallflower
Summary: Mary-Jane Addison can't remember who she is or where she came from. All she knows is that she's a human weapon for Hydra, capable of causing mass destruction. After waking from her cryogenic state she can't help but feel a sense of familiarity to the mysterious man with the metal arm. Who is he? Where does she know him from? PAST/PRESENT fic BuckyxOC
1. Chapter 1

_1938 December 25_ _th_

"Do you think he'll ask you anytime soon?" My mother asked for the third time today whilst handing me another dish to dry. It was Christmas day and I spent the better part of it trying to avoid this conversation.

"I don't know." I reply honestly. "Y'know, you really out did yourself this year with the food, mom." I eagerly try to change the subject but knowing how suborn my mother could be, I knew immediately it wouldn't work.

"Do you want him to ask?"

"I guess so."

"If you don't want him to ask you to marry him then what do you want?" She huffs dunking another dish into the soapy water.

"I just want to be happy." I can feel myself getting upset I force myself to look straight down at the dish that's already being thoroughly dried.

"Aren't you happy now, Jane?" I shrug trying to think about how to get myself out of the hole I just dug.

"Of course I am, mom. Charles is wonderful." I say trying to think about all the positive qualities my boyfriend has. He's charming and attractive. He's got a great future set out with him studying to be a doctor. We understood each other, with me wanting to go into the science field he knows just how must work was needed of me. But somewhere in the back of my mind he was missing something and no matter how hard I tried, I could never pinpoint what was missing in our relationship. An image of a familiar face entered my mind suddenly. I shuddered and tried to push it from my thoughts which was proving impossible over the last few months. I didn't let myself think of _him_ too much because I'd only get myself upset thinking about that cheeky grin and those icy blue eyes.

"Jane?" My mother's voice drew me back from my thoughts.

"Sorry?"

"I was talking to you and you seemed miles away." She dried her hands on the cloth I was holding and turned to face me. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"What? Of course not, I'm perfectly fine. Looking forward to reading some of those books I got for Christmas." I try smile convincingly.

"Okay." She pauses at my answer. "I'll finish these if you wanna go and read."

"Actually I was gonna run Rebecca's Christmas present next door if that's okay. I forgot to give it to her last time I saw her." Rebecca was my best friend. We shared everything together and were pretty much inseparable. Rebecca was the most caring person I had ever made she would never judge a person without knowing their full story and gave almost everyone the benefit of the doubt.

"Okay just don't be long, it's late." I smile and lean in to kiss her gently on the cheek before going into the living room to get Rebecca's present. My father sat in his chair with a newspaper in his lap too absorbed to hear me come in.

It was nice seeing him take a break every now and then. My father is a scientist and it is his passion that drives me to become one in the future. He worked for the government doing research that even his family wasn't allowed to know about. But sometimes if I was really lucky he would let me come into his lab and use the equipment. But those treats were getting few and far nowadays ever since he started with a new German scientist whose name I can never remember. He says if I can get my degree he'll try and get me a small job in the lab.

I take time to put of my new winter coat that Rebecca helped me pick out before heading outside. The street is empty and all the windows of the brownstones that flank my house are warm with light. Christmas had to be my favourite time of the year, it was a time I could forget all my worries of school and just stop and take in what was going on around me. Even if stopping and thinking weren't something I wanted to be doing recently.

My mother had struck something when she asked about Charles proposing because the truth is we're old enough now and have been seeing each other for long enough for him to ask the question. A part of me doesn't know what I'd say if he did. I've always wanted to get married, grow up and have children one day .But now that the opportunity has come for me to actually start thinking about these things ,I find myself uncomfortable with the thought and nervous.

Walking up the steps to Rebecca's house I'm reminded one more of her older brother and my first boyfriend James Buchanan Barnes. A name that, like his face, I could never forget. Neighbours since I was sixteen, James and I had started out pretty friendly and eventually friendly lead to something more. Our relationship lasted all of about two years until we both decided that after high school we'd go our separate ways. He joined the army as soon as he turned eighteen and after that I never saw him again or if I did he didn't see me. But it was better that way, easier. That way there was no awkward glances or encounters, no petty small talk about things we both knew didn't matter.

Staring awkward at Rebecca front door I pause for a few seconds to collect my thoughts knowing that she would know something was wrong the moment she saw my face and today wasn't about me or my irrational worries about Charles.

I raise my hand to door knocker when suddenly the door flies over and a person collides with me. A hand shoots out to grab my waist before I can fall backwards down the porch steps.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even see-"A voice starts. My head whips up to meet two very familiar piercing blue eyes.

"Bucky?" I whisper looking at the face that's been floating around my head for months.

"Janey?" He whispers back. James had always preferred being called by his nickname rather than his full name ever since his best friend Steve started calling him that. He stares down at me with shock and an uncomfortable silence falls over us. I can't remember the last time I saw him properly but he looks somewhat older now. His brown hair cropped shorter for army purposes and although he was always much taller than me he seemed to have grown a little more. His piercing eyes are exactly the same and I suddenly feel myself blush under his intense stare.

"What are you doing here?" I ask dumbly, removing myself from his arm which was still around my waist. It seems to take a moment for him to process what I'm saying before he starts chuckling in a very Bucky-like manner.

"Jane, I live here. Remember?" I feel myself blush a shade deeper and hope that the lighting out here prevented him from seeing it.

"But the army?"

"It's Christmas I requested leave to come home and see my family." He responds leaning down to try and catch my eyes.

"Oh, Rebecca didn't say anything." I mumble knowing that if she did say something I wouldn't have come over at all.

"Yeah, it was a surprise." I sigh and stare up at him and allow myself to get lost in his gaze. Memories flood my mind the longer I look at him and I can't seem to form coherent words. Three years is an awful long time not to talk to someone. And as much as I tried not to think of him, I've missed him.

A scream from inside the house causes us both to jump. I look past his shoulder to see Rebecca barrelling down the hall towards us.

She looks a lot like her older brother with dark hair and blue eyes, they had different chins and cheekbones. And although Rebecca was slightly younger then I was she was a couple of inches taller than me. I'd always been rather short.

"James!" She shouts. "Oh perfect, you're here too." She beams when she sees me.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asks frowning. I take the time to look at what he's wearing, a crisp white shirt and a pair of elegant dress trousers held up by pair of black suspenders. Its only then I realise he's holding a bag trash bag in his hand.

"Robert proposed." She says completely ignoring Bucky, eyes boring straight into mine. My breath catches awkwardly in my throat and I have to almost force myself to smile.

Robert and Rebecca met around the same time that Charles and I met and now they were engaged.

"Rebecca that's amazing. When did he do it?" I ask avoiding the look I know Bucky is shooting me.

"Not ten minutes ago. He's inside with everyone. He came over to ask my father's permission and then he just asked." Her words came rushed as she tried to tell me all on the breath.

"Whoa." I respond intelligently.

"Well come on inside and celebrate with us." She says as she tugs on my hand.

"I can't stay very long I only came over to give you your Christmas present." I explain as she drags me further into the house, I glance over my shoulder to see Bucky placing the bag on the porch and follow us inside.

Bucky's family sit crowded around the dining room table and Robert sits awkwardly beside Mr. Barnes as he opens up a bottle of wine to celebrate.

"Mary-Jane, what are you doing here?" Their mother her voice thick with emotion. I internally cringe as she uses my full name.

"Sorry to intrude on your Christmas, Mrs. Barnes. I was just dropping off Rebecca's Christmas present. I'll just be on my way now." I respond automatically fully intending to turn on my heel and go back the way I came.

"Nonsense you must have a sip of something. Our Rebecca here is getting married." Mr. Barnes proudly announced. I smile and begin undoing the buttons on my coat.

"Let me." Bucky says quietly in my ear before slipping my coat off and hangs it on a peg behind the door.

Bucky placed his hand on the small of my back and leads my over the table pulling out my chair and seating me before seating himself promptly beside me draping him arm over the back of my chair likes it's the most natural thing in the world.

"We must start planning immediately. Oh, Jane you'll help me of course?" She smiles at me from her place beside Robert who was tenderly holding her hand.

"In all the ways I can." I say.

"Oh Jane it can't be long now until Charles asks you. That would be so exciting we could plan both of our weddings together." I swallow hard and merely nod in response. I pick up my glass and gulp down a large sip of wine. Rebecca promptly falls into conversation with Robert and her father and it's only then do I realise that Mrs. Barnes is looking intently at me and Bucky.

"My goodness, I can't think of the last time I saw you two together." She says. I feel myself blush again and curse silently because I know in this light there's no hiding it. Bucky clears his throat.

"I think it was just before I enlisted." He recalls and I mentally cringe as I recall the day the three years ago.

"Yes I think so…" His mother trails off. "It's so funny that you two should be here on the same day that Rebecca and Robert got engaged. I always thought that you two would be long married to each other by now." I feel myself tense up and fully aware that Bucky's arm drops off the back of my chair.

"Well I thought at you would be at least married to somebody at this stage, James." His mother continues. I dare a side wards glance towards Bucky only to find him fiddling with a spoon that's been left on the table.

"Well I don't want to pick the wrong girl, now do I?" He says solemnly before turning to smile at his mother. "Besides all the best girls in my life are right here in this room."

My breathe catches as I stare up at his profile wondering his that statement meant more then what he intended to mean.

I glance over to see Rebecca looking at me with a confused expression on her face. I look behind her and catch the time on the clock hanging on the wall above her head.

"Is that the time? It really is getting rather late I should be getting back." I smile faintly before abruptly standing up before anyone can convince me to stay and get in more discussion about me and Charlie. "Here's your present Rebecca, I hope you like it."

Wishing everyone a happy Christmas and taking another small sip of the wine that was poured for me, I grab my coat from the hook and make for the door.

"Jane." Bucky voice stops me before I reach it. I turn to see him pulling his coat on over his shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm walking you home, like always." I feel a smile creep up on to my face.

"Bucky, I live next door."

"That never stopped me before." He brushes me off opening the door for me. Before we started going out and I would be in his house with Rebecca he would always walk me the few short steps it took to get back to my house just so we could talk alone.

"So how long are you here for?" I ask following him outside.

"Just until the day after tomorrow." He shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, right." He shoots me a look and smiles. "Bucky it was really nice seeing you again."

"Jane, come out with me."

"What?" I say flustered. "Bucky, I'm in a relationship."

He laughs loudly. "Not like that, just come get some food with me tomorrow night. We haven't seen each other in nearly three years. I just wanna catch up with you."

"Oh, right." I sigh both relived and extremely embarrassed.

"It won't be weird or anything because you have a boyfriend and we're just friends, right?" I stop in front of my door and stare up into his eyes trying to understand what he means.

"Well, I guess that would be okay." I say finally.

"Okay, good." He smirks in a way that he used to when we were dating. "I'll pick you tomorrow around six." I merely nod.

Unsure of how to say goodbye I merely wave. He chuckles and pulls me in for a brief hug and I try not to shudder as I pick up the familiar scent that was Bucky.

"Merry Christmas Janey." He whispers before disappearing down the steps leaving me staring after.

* * *

 _You're just going out for some food_. I stare at my reflection in the small mirror in my bedroom as I try and simultaneously hold two different dresses up to my body, a deep red one and a soft blue one.

For all I knew Bucky could be taking me anywhere to eat. The red dress is the fancier of the two dresses but not too dressed up, it was used for any outing, or at least that's what the woman in the shop said when I bought the dress a couple of years ago.

I gauge myself again the mirror before placing the blue dress of the bed and deciding on the red one.

 _You're just friends now,_ I tell myself as I take in my full appearance with the dress on. I curled my hair the usual way and use some bobby pins to pin some curls up beside my temples. I apply some red lipstick and decide I've put enough effort into the way I look for tonight.

"Jane!" My mother's voice carried softly up the stairs. "James is here."

I glance at the clock and silently berate myself for spending so much time getting ready for something that was supposed to be casual.

"I think it's lovely that you two are doing this. You've known each other since you were kids, it's nice your still _friends_." My mother whispered putting extra emphasis on the friends part as I meet her at the bottom of the stairs.

I roll my eyes discreetly. "Where is he?"

"Talking to your father in the front room." I hear my father questioning Bucky from the hallway.

"No sir, not for one second." Bucky answers as I wander into the living room. "I love serving my country in any way that I can."

"That's very noble of you to say, James." My father retorts from his spot on his chair.

"Bucky?" I say, not wanting to stand under the view of my parents any longer. He stands up immediately when he hears my voice.

"I'll have her home early we're just going to Betty's Diner." Bucky says smiling charmingly at my mother. My eyes light up at that comment, Betty's was one of my favourite spots to eat in the city. Good fast food and great atmosphere.

"I haven't been to Bettys in weeks, Rebecca and I go sometimes when we have time." I say when we're outside and safely out of my parents hearing range.

"I actually can't remember the last time I was there, to be entirely honestly with you." He smiles. Betty's diner was great because it was only a couple streets over from where we lived so it was in walking distance.

"So what have you been doing since you've back." I ask.

"Ah nothing much, catching up with people really." He chuckles and I glance sideways at him wondering who he could mean.

"What kind of people?" I try and ask as casually as I could.

"Well yesterday I spent most of the day with Steve before you called over. I actually saw him today too, you remember him right?"

"Bucky, how could I not remember Steve. You two were practically attached at the hip, if you weren't with me you were with him…" I trail off unsure of what to follow that sentence with.

"Hey, you always said you didn't mind." He shoots back not leaving room for it to become awkward.

"What is he up to now?" I ask genuinely curious about Bucky's scrawny little friend. Steve was extremely friendly and he never had a problem with me tagging along to some of their outings. We lost touch after Bucky and I broke up.

"Well he still wants to join the army."

"Still?"

"Jane, he's tiny. You gotta flick him and you'd brake him in two." He answers laughing. "He's passionate though I'll give him that."

"Hey I know someone like that." I say playful knocking his shoulder with mine.

"Yeah only difference is I'm about twenty pounds heavier."

"Yeah and three-time YMCA welterweight boxing champion." I say earnestly.

"God, I can't believe you remember that." He says as we turn the final corner to Bettys.

"How could I not remember, you tried to teach Steve how to defend himself and then you tried to show me some moves." I find myself blushing as I think back on the memory. "I wasn't really cut out for combat." Bucky lets out a bark of a laugh and nods his head.

I look up at Betty's diner, classic white and red colour palette and neon signs decorating the windows and doors. Bucky's hold the open for me as I step into the warmth.

"Sit anywhere you want." The waitress calls from behind the counter. I look around and find that the diner is pretty much empty save a couple of booths. I find myself drawn to a cosy little booth in the corner beside a jukebox.

"This place looks exactly the same." He says taking it in. I simply nod letting him look around and get his bearing. "I don't think I've been here since before I enlisted." He says hesitantly. I stare at him for a moment knowing that means that he hasn't been here since we finished dating. This is where he used to bring me on dates because it was the only thing he could afford at the time, not that that mattered.

"What can I do you for, Jane?" My eyes snapped from Bucky when the waitress appeared. I looked up at Barbara, a middle age woman who wears way too much make up and has worked here for as long as I can remember.

"Usual please?" I smile and she turns her attention to Bucky.

"Oh my, is that James Barnes? I haven't seen you in years. How's the army treating you?" Barbara asks full of chat. Bucky seemed almost startled to have been remembered.

"Good, it's hard but I wouldn't have it any other way." He says honestly.

"Good. That's good to hear." She says taking the two of us in again with eager eyes. "Does this mean that you two are back together?"

"What?" I ask.

"No, no we're just catching up actually. I haven't seen Jane here in a long time." Bucky says smoothly.

"Ah I see." She says finally. "What can I get you so?"

"I actually haven't even looked at the menu yet." He says grabbing a menu off the table and raking his eyes over the front. "What are you having?"

I smile at him knowingly.

"Wait, you're gonna have a hotdog with extra cheese and mustard, fries and root beer." He says shaking his head. I simply smile and nod. "God, Jane you haven't changed at all. I'll have the same, please." He finishes flashing Barbara a smile and she disappears.

"I'm sorry, I like what I like." I say holding my hands up.

"It's good to know you're still the same." He says staring deeply at me.

"So, the army. What's it like?" I ask after a few seconds and he takes a deep breath

"It's tough. I mean when I first started I was training so much I discovered muscles I didn't knew existed." He starts. "It's not glamorous, I get up at the crack of dawn train and do drills until I feel like I'm going to collapse and then repeat it all the following day."

"Really? Sounds delightful."

"Y'know funnily enough I don't think I could imagine my life any other way."

"Well you sound awfully committed. I bet your parents are really proud." I say as Barbara places to cold root beers in front of us.

"Yeah they are. Well my father is, my mother wishes I had a normal job and would settle down. She's dying for some grandkids."

"God I can't imagine having a child now, I still am one. I'm a 21 year old child." I say looking down into drink.

"Jane, I feel the same way and I'm in the army." I smile up at him. I forgot just how well Bucky was at making everything seem like it was alright.

"So what are you now, anyway? Private, captain?" I ask having always been confused by how ranking worked in the army.

"I'm a first corporal, hoping to be a Sergeant soon." He says taking a giant sip of his root beer downing nearly half.

"So what, am I gonna have to start calling you Sergeant Barnes soon?" I giggle and he starts spluttering.

"What? No. You'll always call me Bucky. Hell, you can call me whatever you like and I'll answer." I don't know exactly why but I find myself blushing at that.

Barbara chooses this as the perfect time to place the food in front of me and Bucky and I find the smile I give her is more relieved than thankful.

"Whoa, it smells exactly the same as I remember it." Bucky says not waiting a second before tucking in. We eat in silence for all of about two minutes before Bucky snaps me back to reality.

"So my sister is getting married." He says casually. Not knowing what to response I simply nod. "She tells me you might be getting engaged soon too." I choke on a fry.

"Well nothing is set in stone, you never know what could happen." I say quickly.

"Well do you wanna get married?" He presses.

"You know I do."

"Is he a nice guy?"

"Yes of course he is. He's charming and kind and he's wants to be a doctor."

"Then what's the problem?" He fires back.

"Why do you suddenly care so much?" I snap unintentionally.

"Because yesterday when it was brought up you looked as though you'd been winded."

"I was fine, probably stuffed from dinner." I say quietly looking down at my plate.

"Jane. We've dated for two years I've known you for six or seven years now. Do you really think I wouldn't notice when you're upset." He says softly reaching over and tilting my head up to face him.

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know what's wrong. I've been seeing him for just over a year now, he should be perfect for me." Bucky retracts his hand as if it'd been burnt. "Bucky I didn't mean you weren't perfect. We both wanted different things." I say desperately trying to undo the blunder I just made.

"Yeah, I didn't want to be a doctor." I flinch at his words and he notices.

"Bucky that's not it and you know it."

"Yeah I do. I'm sorry." He says finally and a silence falls over us yet again. I was just about to break when he leans over slightly and says. "You know Jane, if he doesn't make you happy you don't have to be with him. You deserve to be happy, Jane."

After all this time I'd forgotten how easy it was just to be around Bucky. He always knew how to make me feel better even when I felt as though I was going to combust with stress.

"Bucky, is that you over here?" A high pitch voice from across the diner forces me to look away from Bucky. He slumps slightly on his seat before forcing a smile on to his face. I turn to see a woman about our age approach us towing a younger girl behind her.

"Dolores." Bucky greets when she arrives at our table. She beams at him with her wide brown eyes. It's not until she's up close that I realise how beautiful she is. Her dark hair pinned into an elegant up do and she wears a dark navy dress which hugs her curves. She's amazingly tall even without heels. I suddenly feel very inadequate beside her.

"When did you get back? I don't think I've seen you in about a year or so." She asks completely ignoring me.

"I got in just before Christmas, I'm just back to see family I head back to New Jersey tomorrow." He says politely.

"So who's this? Sister?" She asks glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I bite back a smile at her jealously.

"No, this is Mary-Jane. She a good friend of mine." Bucky chuckles amused.

"Oh, I see." She takes a moment to work out what to say next." If I'd have known you were coming home, we could have organised a date or something. I thought you'd write."

I over at Bucky who clearly trying to think up an excuse to tell this girl.

"Well you know how it is Dolores. I've just been so busy with training and what not, I just had no time to write." He lies and I can tell because he always scrunches his eyebrows when he lies.

"Oh. Not to worry, next time you're in town we'll meet up." She says finally.

"Well it was nice seeing you and your sister?" Bucky says referring to the younger girl who stood silently beside Dolores.

"Yes, it was. Don't forget to write to me this time." She says sternly before turning on her heel and walking to an empty booth at the other end of the diner with her sister. I finally let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Sorry about that." Bucky says tucking back into his food.

"So a girlfriend of yours?" I pry.

"I wouldn't necessarily call her a girlfriend."

"Does she know that?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I met her last time I was home I took her out dancing we had fun but I didn't think I'd see her again." I look down at my plate to hide the shocked expression on my face. Did _have fun_ mean what I thought it meant. I didn't think Bucky was into that sort of thing. At least, he wasn't when we were together. A shiver unintentionally runs down my spine.

"Oh. Well she's very pretty." I reply dumbly having no clue how to response to his last comment.

"Yeah I guess." He shoots me an unsure look and a pang of jealousy shoots through me. "This is strange isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Me and you talking about our other relationships." I nod.

"I don't know, a part of me thought we'd always be together." I say finally looking up at him.

"Me too." He smiles slightly at me before reaching over and brushing his finger along the corner of my mouth and I feel myself flush.

"You have mustard on your cheek." He whispered washing away any awkwardness that might have built up over the last few minutes. I smile gratefully at him and return to my food.

"You finished?" He asks a couple of minutes later.

"Yes, normally I'd go for a milkshake after but honestly I'm so full." I say leaning back against the seat. "Thank you for tonight Bucky it was great."

"Hey the nights not over yet. I thought we'd go on a walk and see where we end up." He says cheekily and I know he already has somewhere in mind.

"Where are you going to take me?" I ask.

"I'll pay, you get ready to leave." He says leaving the booth. I roll my eyes and pull my coat on, as I walk to the door I allow myself a smug glance at Dolores who was gawking at Bucky at the counter. Part of me takes pride in knowing I'm the girl he's going to be walking home tonight.

"Ready?" Bucky slips his arm casually through mine and leading me off into the city.

"I'll never get tired of this." I say looking up at the city around me.

"What?"

"The city, the people, the business." I look around and see people darting in different directions, couples walking aimlessly looking for something to do. Beautiful and enticing signs that try and urge people into their establishment.

"God, Jane. You really haven't changed a bit have you?" He asks grinning down at me.

"Nope." I beam back. "Do you miss being home?"

"Everyday. But I love what I'm doing, it makes me feel important, y'know?"

"You are important Bucky. I guarantee your name will be written in history books one day."

"You think so?"

"I know so." We ramble on for a couple more blocks before stopping in front a beautiful building with music so loud I can hear it from outside.

"We're going dancing?" I gasp.

"Yep, we weren't old enough back then and I always promised I'd take you." He says pulling me towards the door. I stare up at him dumbfounded as he pulls me along. We used to dance in my living room when we were dating, practicing as Bucky called it. But it wasn't the fact we were going dancing that had me speechless because Charles takes me often, it's the fact he remembered.

After handing in my coat Bucky is quick to pull me to the dance floor. The place was full of people couples of all ages dancing and swinging together. Tables seemed empty because there was so much people of the dance floor.

"I love this song!" I say loudly leaning up to Bucky's ear so he can hear me.

He grasps my hands firmly and twirls me towards the centre of the floor. I'd forgotten how well we danced together, it wasn't awkward like it sometimes was with Charles. Bucky knew exactly what he was doing and I didn't have to worry about bumping into somebody or lose my footing because I knew Bucky would catch me.

Songs blended from one song into another and no matter how tired I got I couldn't bring myself to tell Bucky because I didn't want to stop being close to him even for a second. I couldn't remember the last time I felt truly happy and I didn't want to stop and break the illusion.

Bucky pulls my hand a little harder during one of the songs and I spin little too fast and crash into his chest. His arms snake around my torso and the two of us burst of laughing. I can feel the vibrations his laugh through me which only makes me laugh more.

"You've gotten better." I shout above the music.

"You think?"

"You dance much in the army." I say and he merely chuckles.

The music suddenly changes tempo and a familiar song starts to play. I feel Bucky tense up.

"I haven't heard this song since…" He starts.

"We broke up." I finish recognising the slow song. He nods and the two of us stand frozen until he slips his hands around my waist and starts dancing again. I reach my arms up and cup them gently around his neck.

A flood of emotions coarse through me all at once as I think back to the night of our break up. I lean my head against Buckys chest trying to ground myself. Towards the end of the song I break away and look up into his eyes only to be met by an expression of pure sadness. My heart clinches to see him like that, looking exactly the same as he had three years ago. The song comes to an end and I huddle into his chest and give him a bone crushing hug.

"Jane I should probably get you home now." He says rather abruptly, his voice thick. I simply nod not trusting my voice.

The walk home is a lot quieter than the walk at the beginning of the night. We walk apart not touching or looking at each other. It's only when we were at my porch did he break the silence.

"It was great seeing you, Jane."

"Yeah, I'm glad we went out." I say sincerely.

"Who knew you could dance so well."

"What? I was always an amazing dancer." I smile up at him. He reaches down and pulls me into a long hug and I allow myself to relax fully into it. Not wanting to think that I might never see him again or this might be the last time I'll be able to hug him because if I do see him again I could be married. I shudder unintentionally and he pulls away slightly to look down at me.

Silently he leans down and presses him lips against mine softly. The feeling is so familiar and normal, it's almost as though the three years that separated us never happened.

Almost.

An image of Charles suddenly appears in my head quickly followed by Dolores and who know how many other girls he could have seen since we broke up. Charles doesn't deserve this he's been nothing but nice to me and what's more Bucky and I still want different things.

I pull away and take a step back.

"Bucky…" I say quietly.

"I'm sorry." He says simply rubbing the back of his neck.

I stare up at his eyes trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Don't marry him."

"Bucky…"

"You deserve more, Jane. You deserve to be happy. Just…" His voice is rough and his eyes are full of emotion. "Find someone that makes you happy." Its not until a tear is half way down my cheek I realise I'm crying. He reaches to brush the tear off my cheek and gently presses his lips to my forehead. Without another word he turns on his heel and makes for the porch steps.

"Is this goodbye?" I call after him.

"No, of course not. It's an 'I'll see you soon'." He reply's and disappears up into his own house.

"I'll see you soon, Bucky." I whisper into the night.

* * *

 **IMPORTANT**

 **Hi,**

 **So I've been playing around with this idea for a little while now and would love some feedback. Please note that this is a PAST and PRESENT story meaning some chapters will be like flashbacks while others will be from the present so please NOTICE the DATE before reading each chapter!**

 **Thanks for reading this far,**

 **-M**


	2. Chapter 2

_Present Day_

It is freezing here.

Here being a relatively loose term seeing as I didn't know where _here_ was. It was always cold though, every time I was brought back. It was literally like defrosting, trying to get my body back to a normal temperate. I place my hands out to feel the familiar steel of the pod I was in. I was very acquainted with it, I could even tell you long many nuts and bolts ran around the frame or how many miniscule cracks where in the small window, if you could even call it a window, there was no light coming through it leaving me in utter darkness.

I suppose I couldn't complain because this was a hundred times better than knowing I was about to go back under. Be frozen in time for who knows how long. The terrifying moments before the air is sucked from your lungs and everything goes black. The worst part is the feeling that you'll suffocate right before a coldness creeps into your skin and then there would be nothing until the next time they _needed_ you.

I wonder long it's been since the last time I was unfrozen. I could only remember the previous time and before that everything goes fuzzy. It seems as though things get harder and harder to remember the more time passes. I reach up with my hands to feel for my hair usually a tell-tale of how long it's been at the rate at which it grows at. Not able to see my blonde hair I can feel it greasy and a lot longer than it was last time.

My mind drifted to what _they_ could possible need me for now. Who was I to kill next? What would be this person's crime to Hydra? Would they beg me for mercy this time? Would be quick and easy?

And then another question arose in my mind. Would I see _him_ this time? The man with the metal arm. I'd seen him on other occasion I can remember being unfrozen. I wonder if I'll feel that same sense of familiarity I did when he was near. Every time I saw him I couldn't help but feel as though we'd met some where before. They usually kept us in different rooms. Although this time I might be meeting a whole new set of people depending on how long it's been. Had my last handlers died? Had it been that long?

Frustrated, I kick the metal door in front of me knowing I will not get the answer to most of these questions. Hydra didn't care that much to privilege me with much information.

A not so distant noise breaks me from my thoughts.

"If this one has been injected with the serum why don't Hydra use her more often?" A man asks.

"That's above both our pay grades." A second answers back. "But it's not that hard to figure out. He has a bionic arm which can cause some serious damage. This one has all its limbs and isn't as lethal."

"Captain America isn't bionic and he's a pretty big threat." The first man fires back.

"I don't know, maybe it's something else then. It was just a thought."

The metal door in front of me is wrenched open and artificial light hit my face. I squint my eyes at the brightness as hands wrap around the tops of my arms and pull me from the pod.

"She's lighter than I expected." The second comments as though I'm not here at all. The men are wearing black suits that I don't recognise. The style tells me it must be a different decade since the last time I woke up. They each have an earpiece and are carrying guns. Even from here I could tell which part of their body they were strapped too.

I quickly scan the room in. A small concrete room with no windows, undoubtedly a basement of a building. Different from the last location l was held. I notice another matching pod beside mine and internally sigh a small breath of relief. _He_ would be around this time, the man with the metal arm.

The men walk me around a maze of narrow corridors until they stop in front of a door similar to the one I came from. They make no comment as they unlock and push me inside and lock the door behind me. This room is smaller than the last and completely empty save a cot by the wall where I'm to sleep. I walk over and a take a seat on the uncomfortable bed. It wasn't as though I would be sleeping anyway. Sleeping usually included vivid and violent dreams and I tried to avoid them as much I could.

The room was bleak with its grey walls and ceiling, both marred with watermarks, signs of past leaks in the building. A small rusted vent was located at the bottom of the wall next to the bed.

Looking around to make sure there was no cameras in the room I move to investigate the vent. It weak and I could easily pull it off with no real force but then there would be no way of putting it back on. I glance through making out another small room on the other side but at this angle there was no way of seeing anything but the grey wall opposite me.

I lean back against the wall. The last time I'd been awake I'd contemplated escape. I was quick and strong enough to take on any of the agents here. But even if I was free from Hydra, where would I go? The world is constantly changing and I'm literally stuck in the past with barely any memory of myself. What would I do? On some level Hydra kept me grounded and grounded was good. Grounded was safe.

The door suddenly bursts open and I jumped to my feet taking a defensive stance. A man stood before me wearing a long white coat which looked a cross between a doctor and a scientist.

"It's time for your assessment." Was all he said before turning on his heel leaving, expecting me to follow.

We weren't alone, we were followed close by two armed men in suits. I mentally try and make a map of halls and doors I see, taking note that we only have to walk up one flight of stairs before we come to a window. Its small and I quickly figure its night time seeing as I can't make out anything.

We arrive at a large room filled with safety deposit boxes and some sort of computer equipment I've never seen before, two identical machines sits and either side of the room. The technology looks more advanced them the kind I was used to. It looks like Hydra have based themselves in a bank this time around.

Hands shove me into the space after the doctor and a barred metal gate shuts behind me.

"Sit." The doctor tells me gruffly pointing to one of the machines. I take a seat in the uncomfortable chair. The doctor wastes no time taking my blood pressure, temperature and weight before he starts sticking large white circular tabs with wires attached to my forehead. This was new, normally they'd just give me a quick check up after the de-freezing process. What were they going to do to me now?

"This may sting." He mutters taking a seat in front of the screen attached to the machine. The has a basic human figure on it to represent me and information on my vitals. An electric shock runs across my forehead and I feel myself tense up and hiss in pain as colours burst across the backs on my eyelids. It's sharp and fast and dies down just as quickly as it started. I don't get to relax for very long before the pain flares up again. This goes on another four times before the doctor looks up and pulls the sticky circles from my head. The doctors then leans over and shines a light into my eyes before staring at my deeply as though he's waiting for something to happen.

When nothing does he sighs deeply before reaching for a folder which looks battered and worn and begins writing in it.

Hydra liked to think of me as there weapon, their property. It was almost as though I wasn't human and because of this, they tended to treat me as if I was some inanimate object, ignoring me at all times.

I stare at him trying to figure what going on in his head. What did he just do to me? The silence makes me nervous and I lean forward for a better look at the file. The folder is thick with paper and I manage to catch a glimpse of the first page, making out only a word –Mary- before he turns the page and begins writing elsewhere. Is that my file? Does that folder have more about my life in it? Am I Mary?

All this time I'd only ever been referred to as the Asset or the Soldier or more simply put, the Girl. Was this my name? Surely upon seeing your own name you'd remember it. It felt wrong though and thinking about it made me mentally cringe. I'm concentrating so hard I don't notice the figures coming down the hall until the gate slides open.

It was _him_.

The man with metal arm automatically comes to a halt in the middle of the room. He seems exactly the same as the last time I saw him, tall, lean and lethal. Even though I had never talked to him before I felt as though I knew him but more I tried to remember the harder he got to place. It was like I was trying to remember a dream after I had woken up.

"Mission report." A voice says. I have to tear my eyes from the metal armed man as the Hydra agent's part and a familiar man strolls in. He's a lot older now from the last time I seen him. His blonde hair greying and his face heavily aged with wrinkles. I know him only by Pierce.

"The target is down." The man with the metal arm answers back firmly. His voice is gruff and coarse, like it haven't been used in a long time. I imagine mine will sound the same.

"Good." Pierce says before turning his attention to . "I see you're busy with the other asset. Do you have the information we discussed?"

"Yes, sir" hands him the folder he had been writing in which Pierce opens and glances at. He then makes his way over to me and stares down at me with that same smile he had all those years ago.

"She still looks as irritated as ever." He comments as though I can't hear him. I simply stare back at him. "You jealous because he gets all the fun?"

He tilts his head back and chuckles." Don't worry with Nick Fury dead I'm sure we'll be needing you a lot more now. Was there anything wrong with her?"

Part of me wonders if it was the metal armed man who killed this Nick Fury. I glance at him he remains motionless staring straight ahead as if he can't hear the conversation going on around him.

"No. She's a little malnourished but that's natural for the amount of time she's been under." answers.

"When you're finished with him, you're wanted upstairs in the office. You'd better be able to explain your findings to _her_." Pierce puts a slight emphasis on the her and roughly hands him back the folder and disappears out of the door he came through.

Wordlessly the man with the metal arm sits down at the machine opposite me and pull his face mask off. He looks exhausted and I can tell he's trying not to sag in the chair. begins his examination and seeing as no one has told me to move I assume I'm to stay put. He starts by removing the top of the black suit leaving the man in a vest top, his metal arm on full display.

I'd never been this close to him before. His arm looked like it could some serious damage. I wonder how much missions he's been on since he's been awake. How much people has he killed?

What if they're about to send me out on a mission. Would Pierce come back through that door with an assignment for me?

I don't realise I'm still looking at the metal armed man until he lifts his head and stares at me with intense blue eyes. I'm trapped in his gaze unable to look away. His face gives away no expression but I can tell that he's trying to figure me out just like I'm trying to figure him out. Part of me wondered if he thought I looked familiar too or if I was just that other asset he sometimes saw. The more I looked at his face the more frustrated I became about not being able to place him.

"You're good to go." said once he was finished taking his vitals and fiddling with his metal arm. The man didn't even bother looking up at him. I notice that the doctor doesn't stick the tabs on the metal armed man.

"Rumlow, they need to be fed. Take them to cafeteria, I have to finish my notes." said grabbing the worn folder and pawing through it again.

"What am I, your errand boy?" The agent I'm assuming to be Rumlow answers, sarcastically. sighs heavily but ignores him as he walks over and shoves me out of my sit. He runs his eyes over me like I'm a piece of meat and smile a sickening smile. The man with the metal arm is up and out of his sit before the other agent can do the same to him.

With Rumlow marching ahead of us and the other agent following behind us we were herded through the large building and a lunch room filled with tables. I manage to glance at the clock and see it's a little after eleven.

A woman agent hands me and the metal armed man a white tray filled with grey looking food which looks like it's already been in someone else's stomach and a bottle of water. I beeline for the nearest table and sit down.

I'm surprised when I hear the chair across from me move and the metal armed man sits down opposite me. I waste no time digging in to the food. Wondering how many years it's been since my stomach had real food it in. It tastes of nothing and the texture is soggy but I don't care. It's not until I take a sip of the water I realise just how thirsty I am too. I manage to drain the bottle in two giant gulps. It was like this last time when I was awake, my throat felt like sandpaper and no matter how much water I had it was wasn't enough.

I look around to see if there's anywhere I can get more. The room is pretty much deserted except for me, the metal armed guy and the agents who brought us here, who were sitting a few tables away eating decisively better looking food. Rumlow stares at me from across the room and I shoot him my best glare.

And then the metal armed guy does something which completely surprises me. He pushed his unopened bottle across the table to me. I look up at him questioningly he simply continues eating his food. Cautiously I accept the water, sipping it this time. I realise this man must have been in my position recently and no one was around to offer him an extra bottle of water and I can't help but feel sad for himself. He was always already awake whenever I was never the other way around and because there was only two of us no one could ever show him any kindness.

"2014." His voice startles me but I manage not to show it.

"What?" I manage reckoning my voice probably sounded no better.

"The year. Its 2014." He says shortly looking up into my eyes. A slight frown settles across his brow and I can't help but wonder what he would look like with a smile on his face. An inkling in the back of my mind tells me I might have seen it before.

"Thank you." He nods and tucks back into his food. I wonder how he must of felt waking up in a strange time period and had to try figure out _when_ he was. I wonder if somebody had the curtesy to tell like he had to tell me.

He sits defensively like he's about to get up and start fighting at any given second. His hair forms a curtain around his face so I can't see any expressions he's making. If he was even making any. I glance down at his torso and make out the angry red scar lines where his metal arm meets his chest under his vest. I wonder if it hurts when he uses it or to what extent he can feel things with it.

He glances up and catches me staring at his arm and moves it so it hangs by his side. I wish I could tell what he was thinking instead of trying to guess.

"Okay, back to your rooms." Rumlow appears next to us as the metal armed man finishes eating and escorts from the cafeteria back down into the maze of corridors. We arrive at my room first where Rumlow unlocks the door and grunts for me to go in I glance once more at the man with the metal arm before complying.

"Night princess." He smirks locking the door behind him. I don't have to wait long before I hear the room beside my open and close. Getting down to the vent I see a pair of black combat boots identical to my own walk by meaning the man with the metal arm was in the room next to me.

I can hear him sitting on his cot before he lets out an almost inaudible sigh. Leaning my head back against the wall I allow my eyes to slide shut and begin to process the last few hour's events.

I wonder what lies instore for me tomorrow. How long would it take them to find me someone to eliminate. A part of me wanted a mission. But not because I wanted to kill anybody but because a selfish part of me wanted to see the world again and feel the sun on my face.

If the man with the metal arm was right about the date that meant it's been around thirty years since I last saw the world. I wonder how much has changed since then other than the fashion, if the agents were anything to go by. I also wondered why they haven't used in me so long. Had they forgotten about me?

With the rate of thoughts running through my head I knew I would never get any sleep tonight not that I planned to. I wondered how the metal armed man ever got any sleep.

Slumping down I let my hands fall from there place on my lap to the floor, which make a small dull knocking noise in the process. I think nothing of it until I hear a dull tapping noise in the room beside me. He must be able to sleep either I feel the corners turn up into a small smile, sharing some comfort in the fact that at least I wasn't alone.

Throughout the night at regular intervals I find myself tapping lightly of the floor to see he if will response.

He always does.

straightens his tie as he walks down the long corridor which leads to _her_ office. The person everyone including Pierce, reported to. He hated confronting her and he knew she wouldn't be happy with this information. She was so intimidating and her expression gave nothing away. You never knew what she was truly thinking or feeling.

Two armed men stand outside the office door completely ignoring as he stops and fixes what little hair he had in front of the door. Knocking once, he let himself into the room. The office was like many of the other offices, large and empty except for a desk, a chair and a computer. This was in case Hydra needed to relocation with speed.

She sits expectantly at her desk with a neutral expression on her face. An expression had become very familiar with. Pierce stands beside her texting away on his phone.

"Report."

"Well I –um- carried out the memory tests on the Asset like instructed as soon as she was woken up from her cryogenic state. Eh, as you'll see in my report there was no unusual brain activity meaning she haven't regained any of her past memories." stammered as he places the battered file on the desk.

"And the other Asset?"

"He was the same, no unusual brain activity." watched on in discomfort as she paws through the file.

"You've already been briefed on what is to happen next, yes?"

"Yes ma'am, the girl is to be operated on as soon as possible to try and recover as much of her memory as possible." rushed he could feel sweat gathering across his brow.

"Correct, you will need to gather a team of competent doctors to help you carry out the procedure." She closes over the folder and comes around the desk to stand in front of . "Need I say that if this procedure goes wrong and we lose the asset or her memory deteriorates more it won't just be your job on the line." Her voice is eerily soft but it's enough to strike fear into the doctor who nods rapidly in response.

"Thank you, . That'll be all." She smiles smugly at the doctor before leaning back and sitting on the edge of her desk.

"What's so important about the girl? Why are her memories so important?" spill out of his mouth before he's even realised he's asked them. She pausing for a while considering what information to tell the doctor.

"Because she holds the winter solider formula."

* * *

 **IMPORTANT: Present day in this fic is set during the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, hence it being 2014.**

 **I meant to have this up sooner but I was away in England for a while. Thank you to the three people who reviewed, I really appreciated them! And to the people to followed and favourited. I hope you liked this chapter. Please remember to NOTE the date at the beginning of each chapter!**

 **Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!**

 **-M**


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